BRTC v LRTA - Saturday 25th May 2024

Dear Member,

Only the fearless should read on….

 

Blue skies and cotton wool clouds greeted the LRTA today as they took on the might of BRTC.

The calm of the outside was in total contrast to the carnage taking place inside as the Bristol Court bore witness to some merciless gladiators savaging one another in a series of bloodthirsty encounters.

 

The Players:

Tom Fuller 58.31 v  Lucie Grosset 52.7

Jonny Davies 60.9  v  Jacqui Siu 61.5

Trish Morris 79.9  v  Barbara Bush 87.3

Janine Mendham 76.7  v  Angela Probyn 70.7

 

Tom Fuller had already had an hour on court before the French invaded.

He got off to a flyer and some incredible blows were exchanged.

Shot of the day came in this first battle as an overhit thump from the service end came off the main back wall, bounced onto the ledge of the winning gallery and hit the post before ringing the bell.

I had to explain the bad news to Tom that this was actually a hazard chase.

This act of mental cruelty was perhaps too much to deal with and Lucie seized the moment and her game just got better and better.

A fantastic match saw Lucie winning 6/4 6/4.

 

The second match was no less entertaining.

The first set swayed one way and then the other as Jonny and Jacqui traded blows.

Jacqui managed to take the first set 6/5 but it looked as though it had taken everything from her as she went down 6/1 in a lightning fast second set.

The last laugh was hers though as she pulled herself back off the canvas and won the third 6/4.

Incredible match.

 

The third brawl was gruesome.

I cannot possibly describe the majority of the events from this encounter as this is a PG rated article.

Suffice to say, that despite the valiant and occasional incredible shots from Barbara Bush, our very own King of Gladiators, Trish the Merciless Morris, lived up to her reputation as she carved up her opponent in a 6/1 6/0 massacre.

 

The main event of the day brough two titans of the arena together as Janine Mighty Mendham and Angela the Power Probyn faced off in a bare-knuckle extravaganza.

Limbs were torn and flung to all corners of the court.

The sound of thunder echoed around the court as these two bruisers set about each other.

The cries of anguish will forever be a part of this court.

This brave young marker watched through stinging tears in order to accurately report on this furious battle.

Angela knows her way around a Real Tennis Court and this, along with some fantastic volleying, proved to be the difference as she struck Janine down 6/3 /64.

 

Despite the brutality and occasional decapitation, you may be surprised to hear that there were no actual fatalities.

 

A good day then at our beloved BRTC.

 

So… as the dust settles and I mop up the blood and sweep the remaining bone fragments from the court, I am left contemplating this epic occasion.

 

All that is left to say is thank you.

Thank you to Angela Probyn for catering and Gary Mendham for his moral support in the Dedans.

 

But mostly to the players who survived the day.

You shall not be forgotten.

 

Cheers,

Ben the Brave